Or??? This is the first time sense Jon died that I thought I had a bad day... The day he died I had a rubbish day so many bad things happened. And 1h before he died I went for a shower and wile I was walking upstairs I was thinking "what a bad day I've had"!! And felt a bit sad. And I had no ide what was just around the corner to happen! When it happened I was thinking. I'm never gonna say I've had a bad day again!! Cuz nothing breaks this... Nothing... And today again I thought I had a bad day. At least to start with. But it scared me that I was thinking for a wile I had a bad day...? How could I think that??? How could I forgett? If only for a wile , how could I forgett?
Now I'm home "alone" it's a storm outside and soooo dark! I'm really scared of the darkness... My alarm on the yard went off for a minute ago. I went to have a look and it said it was something wrong in the dining room... Nothing is wrong there but it keeps beeping about it. I'm walking around in the evening really scared that something is gonna happen. I know it's silly but I'm really scared.
Bad day or not. Until u lose the most important thing in your life it ain't a bad day! Maybe u don't know what is the most important thing until u lose it! I didn't !!!!!!
:(

Why is sex so sensitive? What is it with sex that makes people crazy? I love sex and I love the intensity between two people in sex. I love that u just lose everything els when u have sex. Nothing is more important right then when u have sex... Why is it like that? Why does sex mean so much? I don't have any answers for it, I just wondering.. It's hard to talk about it to other people. I miss it loads... I miss to have someone to kiss everyday. I miss someone to have romantic evenings with. And hot sex. I'm bored of having these guys who is cheating or just want u right now and nothing more. I want someone to love me and someone who lets me love him. Hot sex is nice, but making love is something special and I can only remember I've done that once in my life. Cuz just because u have sex with someone u love doesn't mean u making love in my opinion. Making love is when u get so deeply lost in each other that u losing track of time and space. And u can just go on forever with out even notice it. And u can feel a connection on a totally different level. It's hard to describe it. But like I said it has only happened once for me. And I remember it so clearly. And I miss that feeling. The feeling of to belong to someone, that will call u everyday just because they miss your voice or they wanna check that u r alright. Someone that will travel 1000 mile just to say hello. Someone that puts you in front of anything. Cuz that's exactly what I would do! That person that will treat me right and win my heart I would do anything for. I'm a nice person deep inside with so much love to give. But I'm so supriced how few people there is that wants it... I know how the world works. But everyone needs love no matter what they say. But right now I need it more than ever before.