It was a really nice reportage in the newspaper/Internet to day. But it was a bit of a chock as well. So well written about my life! How can so much happen, and I have hardly notice it. It did bring one and too tears down my cheek. So many things has happened. So many emotions feelings conquests. I'm over weld with feelings at the moment and have been al through the year. Some days I remember all the good things. Some days all the bad things. But I still love him and will always do.
I hope next year get better and easier for me.
Good night guys
Xxx

It's hard to celebrate. I hade a very good time on Saturday at the riders awards. But I did miss Jon a lot. He would have been so proud. We wanted to win this price so much. So sense last year we hade the goal in our head all the time. And hard works it what it takes to win! Hard hard work. No matter what happens. U might loss your best horse, train another one, u might be in a tragic accident and injure yourself or loose someone. But fight! Fight! And fight! It's hard! It's hard to live. It's hard to celebrate. And sometimes I break down in the middle of nowhere, on the dance floor or in the stable. But I always rise back up again. I get pushed down but I get back up.
So this award means a lot to me. And I hope I can do better next year cuz my goal is to be on the Swedish riders award and get awards there to. So I need to shape up. Train harder. Train more and get better steady but slowly.
This was my goal for this year. I made them all. But it's not easy. But we did it.
Next year we gonna jump bigger and train harder.
I'm a little bit sad I missed out on Globen horse show. But there is always a next year and beside I like to ride the international classes and not the national.
But I'm The Rider Of The Year 2013 and I'm proud over it!
And with small steps everyday it brings me back to life and get's me closer to my goal. Everything is possible. Quitters never Win!!! And I love u all that believes in me and supports me. And helps me with my life. Love u guys. Xxx
I would like to end with to say a BIG congratz to Klara Hammarström to the gold medal in the Swedish Championchip for ponies! And to Scott Brash to the GCT victory!!! You r my inspiration!
And I also notice that the most of this awards went to Hälsingland. Witch I think is impressive! :) don't you?
Be proud! I'm anyway!
Xxx

A few days in Stockholm is over now. We (me Therese and Jessica) has hade loads of fun. It's so much easier to make through the day with good friends. So thank you for arranging this! <3
The actually riding was fun but soooo hard. I don't think he was impressed by me and my horses. But really necessary for me. Hard!! But precise in he's instructions and what he wanted from me! "The horse is not stiff!! You make it stiff!!!!" "Work with the horse not against it!" So thru but bloody hard to remember all the time. "Ride strait behind a strait fence"
My horses jumped AMAZING!!!! Almost so I couldn't stay on when Finlandia jumped! Jumped a combination on 140-150 probably 15 times before she started to jump "normal" so I could ride her normal and stay on in the landing. She has got so much energy. And I'm gonna be in big trubble for next year if I can't stay on her when she jumps like that. Absolutely amazing but bloody hard for me. But I'm so blessed with my to sweet harts Caretto and Finlandia. I needed this lessons. Needed to get told off so I can be more precise and develop a bit more. Riding is fucking hard !! "Leave the horse alone, she doesn't need you!" "You have to be good enough to help your horse!" I have a lot to think off now.
Jon would ove loved to be there and been spooking to him and laught at me when I was failing time after time. Lol. I can imagine that in my head. Bless him. Miss him deeply. :'(
But once again thanks for this oppetunity! Jessica Öhlander !!! And Therese Nyman love u guys!
Xxx / H

Hello. It's been a few days I'm sorry but I've been crazy busy. My trip to Vännäs when't great. Good riders and horses. Nice people. Hope to come back there again soon. :) stayed the night at a dear friends place. Nice to catch up at bit. But we didn't get so much sleep. ;)
Now I'm in Stockholm cuz I was gonna ride for Joss Kumps but he's flight got cancelled this morning so he's not gonna make it to day so we only get to ride tomorrow. So instead we r ridning a bit on our own (me Jessica and Tette) and then we get a girls night out ;) in Stockholm. Sounds great. :) the weirde thing is that I'm here but have no reception on my phone ?!? How odd? Well it's still nice to be away and meet some friends and have a bit of fun even that it didn't work out as we planed it. :) have a lovely day. Xxx / H

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WHlqZ6VZvKE&feature=player_embedded&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DWHlqZ6VZvKE%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded

I've just watched this documentary from Channel 4 in the UK. And I must say it's highly interesting what's going on inside a horse. But the moste interesting thing I was thinking of was how extremely good looking British guys are and how badly I wanna found an English husband again... I absolutely love the English language and the south accent. And I was just thinking how much I miss the UK and the people from UK so badly. :(
Anyway back to reality, watch this and think how and what we are asking of our horses. And for the love of god!!!! Put some bandage of boots on the horses legs when u riding!!!! It's highly important !!! Watch what happens if u don't were them! I hade a horse who landed behind a fence and just this happened. The leg exploded inside and we hade to put him down. In this case protection made no difference but many times they do help. So please take care of your horses.
Another thing to observe is the breving if the horse. The horse can only breve through he's nose. So when u have a bridle or a color on. Make sure it fits high enought on the nose and doesn't effect or closes the nose. Cuz like they say if the horse can't breve it can't perform!!!
Have a good night everyone. Xxx / H

This is mine and Jon's baby puppy. He's called Mannie [money] he's a 7 yro male miniature schnauzer. So he's no longer a puppy. But we just to call him that anyway. He's the big boss on our yard. If u wanna get in u need to ask him first. He's the first one u meet when u entering our yard. He's our baby and the sweetest one of them all. Xx

Some days are better than other. To day is a bit better. I bloody hate this time of year we r heading towards. :( cold dark and hard ground. Witch means trouble riding. No indoor school means no practice. I was hoping for a year ago that everything wold be sorted by now. But because of Jon's death everything got very delayed. So I'm hoping for an English winter with no snow and above 0 degrees. Sunny days means frozen ground and no riding. So no good. I wanna go somewhere warm and cosy now. And I can't wait to go to Spain and Oliva Nova. I do need the sun so badly. And I hate Sweden and all the crap weather all the year long. The weather really affects my mood. And I don't like that we only have a few hours of daylight etch day. I'm gonna try get some sleep now. Lots of love / H xx

And I wish I wasn't! As soon as I've been gone and come back home. I hate it!!! I hate to be home. It's boring emty and not fun. I just feel like disappearing for a wile. Maybe a life time (could be short) I don't know. I just now I don't enjoy to be here right now. :( when I'm away, something is happening. I like to be away doing things. Competing, training, traveling. I love all of it and I hate the daily life right now. It's cold dark and lonely.
I do know I sound spoiled and moody. That's not my attention... So I'm sorry if anyone gets afended. Hope u r all good. Love to u all! Xxx