I don't dream about Jon. It's very rare. I don't think I've done it for the whole year. But last night I did! And I'm scared of dreaming of him cuz it makes everything so hard when I wake up. I know he's dead but it still much harder if I dream he's alive. Anyway, my dream was really short. I was sitting in my lounge speaking to my sister who also was there. And I can't see the front door from the couch. And I hear it's someone by the door. And someone walks in and I freezes cuz it sounds exactly like Jon. The dog went mental stared running over there and crying. And then he say "Hi Darling I'm home" like he always did. I just froze totally had a heart beat on 300. Then he walks into the room and I see it's him. I tried to stand up but instead I fainted!! Cuz I got so shocked to see him. Then I waked up... It felt so real. It's un real. I want him back so badly. I thought this was gonna be easy. I was just gonna keep on living like normal. But it's not. I can't get over it I can't move on. The horses and the show helps so much. With out that I don't think I would be alive. I'm so happy I got them. But I'm so sad for what I've lost... I do have a night mare day and night! Xoxo H

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Today I was talking about u. It had me remembering things about u. Things how u always came with a smile everyday how u laught and was so so silly all the time. How u made me so happy and when I was sad u always knew what to say to make me happy. U m...

Today I was talking about u. It had me remembering things about u. Things how u always came with a smile everyday how u laught and was so so silly all the time. How u made me so happy and when I was sad u always knew what to say to make me happy. U m...

I had a dream last night! It was so real! We were at home like in the old good times. My Jon and puppies. I woke up in the morning and it was a snowstorm. Snowing like hell. But I wanted to go out for a walk so I did. I walked on the big road all the...

Why did he die before we started living??? Everyday I get reminded of him of the things we used to have. The things we should of had. I still dream of him and hoping that one day I'll wake up and everything was just a dream. Sometimes I think like th...

Yesterday we were on my cousins hen night. It was a really emotional one for everyone but in different ways. For me it was a bit horrible. I was thinking how my hen night would have been. How I would have feel, the happiness and the love I would have...