Already back!?! How quick did that go???
I hade a lovely time in NYC loads of shopping but not so much going out :( wish it had been more of that...
I only got a little bit upset and sad once but ofc he was on my minde every minuet! But now I'm back home and it's incredible but the moment I landed in Stockholm I got upset and I havn't stopped crying yet!!! I hate this! I hate that I'm upset all the time when I'm home. I don't want to be here. Spec not this time of year!!! I'll never spend another Christmas in this town again. From now on I'm going abroad alone or not I don't care! But never ever here again. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through this to days now.
I don't wish for anything this Christmas I don't want a single present!!! Cuz no one can give me what I really want anyway!!!! I get upset when I think about people worrying and getting upset over presents and food and Christmas. People getting upset that they didn't get the present they wanted. It's just stuff?!?! Who cares??
But I know how it is cuz I just to be the same!!! But I'm not anymore. I'm not the same person as last year! Learn to appreciate what u have and stop comparing to what other people have! The only thing that matters on Christmas morning when u wake up is who is there with u! Who is laying next to you! Who is giving u a kiss in the morning! Who is telling u how much he/she loves you! ???

Merry Christmas everyone!

It's Friday morning and only 2 more days left here in paradise!! We r having a great time over here. Loads of fun and loads of shopping done. I don't want to be back for Christmas. I'm not looking forward to it. It feels horrible and I just wish I could be on an tropical Ireland somewhere in the world. Havn't brought any Christmas presents. Cuz the only one I've like to shop for is Jon. I se so many things I would get him if I could. :( I've done alright been here but the closer we get to Christmas the worse it gets. Cuz the only thing I wish for Christmas is him!!! I hate this time of year ... But the NYC is perfect and I'm gonna enjoy it to the max and then take the worries as they com when I return.
Last night we when't to se a show. Cinderella!!! It was really good. Last time I went to a show was for 2 years ago tomorrow in London on my birthday with Jon. So it did feel a little bit wired. But the show was good and I enjoyed it. So now we r going to the Statue of Liberty !! Take care everyone. I love u all. Xxx

Hello world! we are having a really good time here in NYC. Loads of shopping and some atraktions as well.

right now we are on the big apple shop near Central park. its awsome and i dont think i'll return home again ;)

the hotel is really good to. we got 2 big nice beeds nearly king size ;P so we r doing alright down here. hope that everything is working fine back home to and that it will be a little snow when we return. if we return ;P lol...

well i tell more when i get back home and showing everything i brought. need to go to a lot of party yo be able to were every dress i brought. xoxo / H

Airports again! We were ment to be in New York all ready but our flight is massively delayed to 6am instead of 17:30pm. Bloody enoying. :( so here we are at Arlanda and nothing to do in the middle of the night. Just praying are flight will departure at estimated time. So trying to stay awake so we cane get some sleep on the plain. ?? But hopefully we will get there sooner or later. Have a good time all of you and we are gonna try our best. Bless u all. ?? Xxx

Home from England. Work for a few days and on Monday of to NYC. Exciting life? Probably!
Hade a great time in the UK. Good shopping. Good food as always. Love roast dinner or the roasted potatoes mainly ;) always put on a bit of weight when I'm over there. Don't understand why. ;) lovely to se my family but it just makes me miss Jon even more. :( it still feels so unreal that he's dead. I still can't understand he's not coming back. I want him back so badly. Right now I'm walking around with a big empty hole inside me. I try to fill it out with stuff but nothing can!!?! It feels so horrible. And I'm not feeling myself anymore. Christmas is coming up and all I can think of is that I don't want to celebrate it. All I can think of is last year. When my hubby was sick the last few days in he's life. He had fever and still when't out clearing snow ? he brought me an electric heating blanket for Christmas... So I could stay warm when he wasn't around he said. Why why why??? Why can't he be here with me? Why do I have to be alone??? Why me ? Why him?
I miss him so badly... It feels like I will never get over this and be able to live normal again. Will I ever find love again? Will I ever let me find it? Will I be able to love again? I just don't think so... :'( why do I have to continue living? What's the purpose with that?
I might be smiling ... Some people told me I'm always smiling. I always look so happy... ?!? Do I ?!? I might be smiling. But my heart is bleeding and I'm not really there... Trust me!
So ask again if I have an exciting life? I don't think so... ? tears is daily for me! I'M BROKEN!!! So think twice before you ask to be in my life...
Good night my friends. I do love u all, believe me!!! Xoxo

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Last day here in Willand. It has been a pleasure to be here. But everything good have to com to an end. :( so tomorrow I go back to London and then Sweden. It does feels weirde to be here with out Jon and if possible I miss him more over here. It's gonna be hard to find anyone that can take his place. Cuz I don't want anyone to do it. But at the same time I do. ? to be here with the Frisbys makes me miss a family of my own. For the last few days I have been thinking how wonderful it would be to have a husband and a child.. But then I think no! Cuz I can't have it with the person I want to. ? I'm never gonna find anyone good enough for me again. It sucks... And it makes me sad...
Well anyway. We went to buy me a pair of Ariat boots for the winter ??and cold in Sweden today. They will be perfect. I'm leaving here tomorrow afternoon. My flight ??is 9pm local and landing 00 cet. And after that it's a few h driving back north so I might be in bed at 3-4am cet. Then we r off to New York on Monday. Yeay. ?
By the way. There is a few spaces left in Hudik on Saturday if anyone want to ride for me befor Xmas. Last chance work out. Let me know ASAP! Take care xoxo

Up date from the other side of the puddle. ;) London was cool we stayed in the chelsi area. Pooch. When't to winter wonderland and the to some cocktail bar for a few really nice mojitorazz witch is my new favorite drink after Lanaken. Love it!!! Could drink it every day all the time. Yami. ;) now I'm in Devon and Exeter. It's nice and warm over here. Don't like the snow that's been going on back home. Horrible. Today we have been shopping manly superdry stuff. They are gorgeous cloths. Brought two bra's one pink and one black. One tshirt. And Marion got my a grey jumper for cold Swe days and a black and pink jacket for normal days in UK ;) Phil and Lewis got me a very nice bracelets with purple bling bolls on. Lush.? I have also brought a .... DRESS!!! ?Very nice one in PINK!!! Omg. But it was so cute I could not resist it. Pic on that coming later. I think I achieved a lot to day. Wanted a new par of jeans ?aswell tho mine brook on the way over here. But couldn't find any today I'm afraid they were al to big or to expensive. Have to keep looking when I'm going to New York next week. So excited. !!!! ? thank you all for this!

Going to London for a few days to meet friends and family. So a few days of well earned holiday. And the first thing I'll do is to have a costa coffee. :D and next coming Monday me and my sis is of to NYC and US :D seems to be a good Xmas after all. Xoxo H